Grab that to-do list and scrunch it into a tight ball. Drop it in the garbage bin and kick the can a few times for good measure. Most likely you will feel better than if you kept trying to live your life by the shoulda woulda list rather than living in the present moment. Here’s how to help yourself if you are stuck in ‘shoulda woulda’ land.
When you are tempted to keep focusing on what you should be doing, rather than what you are doing right this moment, stop yourself. Ask what is really going on and why you feel so challenged to stop ‘shoulding’ all over yourself. Anything other than what you’re doing right now has no place in your life at this moment. You are meant to be here, now, doing this exact thing. Anything other than that is going to feel like you are carrying a heavier weight than necessary. You are going to get tired of that very quickly.
Why it Matters
After years of speculating about what you should or could be doing better or differently, you likely feel exhausted. You should earn more money, be further along in your career, should be sober, should be in recovery, should be in more groups, should be hanging more with sober friends. The list goes on and on and is crazy making. The deficit between what you thought should be and what you thought you had can grow so big you don’t recognize it any longer. It also stems from a lack of gratitude. It is hard to be grateful for what you have when you’re focused on what you deserve, yet don’t have.
Seeking out the shoulda woulda list comes from a mindset of lacking something. When you come from a place of seeking abundance, that you deserve good things to happen, you start to identify what you truly value, what you want in life, and allow yourself permission to achieve those things. Life will be more fulfilling as a result. Respect yourself, and others, enough to go after what it is you want:
- Set your goals to align with your values
- Keep track in a journal
- Find accountability
- Reach for stretch goals even if you failed before or think it’s impossible
Acceptance of what is feels like just giving in and saying this is all there is or ever will be. There is so much more to life than that. The true definition of living for now is all about living with a mindset focused on a life that seeks purpose and meaning, without worrying about shoulds and woulds. Make a list and tackle it head on. Eventually you will start to see that hitting those smaller goals is helping you hit larger goals and you can move forward with more confidence in living for now.
Sound Recovery believes you have the power to achieve all you want right now. Sobriety is in your future, it is right now, ready for you to take hold of in this moment. We have programs, services, and trained professionals ready to assist your journey of recovery. If you are struggling, reach out to us by calling 561-277-3088 to get started.