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Take all of your resentments, judgments, assumptions, and anger, then cast them into a net. Resolving yourself to finally let all of it go you cast it into a roaring river. Not caring about the memories, the pain, or the people involved, you throw the net into the river. Good riddance, you think, as you watch the net start to float by. Suddenly, there’s a tug at your ankle. With horror you realize the net got tangled around your foot. Before you can act, you’re pulled into the river, ravished and thrown about, with all of those memories. When you don’t forgive but try to forget, it’s like casting a net you’re tied to. For the rest of your life, until true forgiveness and healing happens (which sometimes takes a lifetime) you’re entangled in the pain. Forgiveness isn’t about the people, places, things, and events you’re letting go of. Instead, forgiving is about cutting that tie loose and being freed from drowning with the pain.

Resentments and anger are often described as poison we drink with the intent to harm someone else. By holding back and holding a grudge, we think we have a one up on someone. The truth is, when we are angry and unforgiving, we are the ones who suffer. We hold toxic, negative energy, block off a loving relationship, and restrict ourselves from feeling emotional liberation. Forgiving is hard to do. Though we don’t have any tangible item to hold onto and release, whatever it is we can’t let go of seems to be woven within the fibers of our being. Holding on to something for so long makes it a part of us. Oftentimes we aren’t sure what we would do with ourselves if we didn’t have that anger. Partially that is because we use our lack of forgiveness as an insurance policy without which we become vulnerable. If we let down our guard and forgive, we could be hurt again. Admitting that means fully acknowledging anger is a secondary emotion, built upon sadness and fear.

Getting into the perspective of forgiveness is challenging, but not impossible. These are some simple tips to work with for coming to a place of forgiveness.

  • First, find a reason to let it go. Your first reason should be not wanting to carry around a resentment anymore. You’re second reason will likely be a matter of time.
  • Second, remember that everyone makes mistake. Of course, you probably wouldn’t have done whatever was done to you. Perhaps you did. It’s likely you would want to be forgiven. It’s also likely you’d understand if you weren’t forgiven. Considering this can help you empathize with the other person.
  • Lastly, find empowerment in recognizing that whatever happened was a learning experience. You learned about the person involved, you learned a little more about life, and you’ve learned a lot about yourself. By letting go, you can move forward and act differently.

There is freedom in the process of recovery. If you are struggling with addiction and alcoholism, there is hope. Call Sound Recovery Solutions today for information on our treatment programs for men and women. You can lead your own life again. 561-666-7427.

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